Online Safety for Teenagers

In my last post, I promised to come back and share some tips for online safety and your teenagers.  Let's face it.  Technology is everywhere.  You can't keep your teenagers away from it.  And, technology in itself is not a bad thing.  But, just like anything else, it can be misused or overused.   They can stay in touch with family and friends, access resources for school work, take classes online, and even start a business online.  At the same time, it has created a whole new breeding ground for bullies and predators.  Today's teenagers have been using technology since they were toddlers.  It's a different world than what we grew up in.  It is important to teach our young people to use the internet responsibly and in a balanced way.  So, let's look at ways we can teach this critical skill. 

1.  Balance is important.  On average, tweens and teens spend 6-9 hours using technology (social media, TV, video games, internet).  That's a lot of screen time and doesn't leave much time for much of anything else.  It is important that our teens have other hobbies and interests that put them face to face with other kids in order to grow socially and learn time management.  Technology can be "time suckers" and other responsibilities get pushed aside because of technology.  I teach my students to put first things first (make time for priorities first).   I would set a time for technology each afternoon and on weekends.  You need to decide how much time is appropriate, but I suggest less than two hours in the afternoon after school.  I also suggest having "Tech Free Zones" like the dinner table.  Don't let their social media become their life.  It can be a part of their lives, but not their entire life.  On top of that, phones should be taken away at night and put on charge in your room so that they are not getting online in the middle of the night.  My students tell me they stay up all night or get up for hours in the middle of the night and text their friends.  Be sure to turn them off or turn notifications off so that they don't wake you up all night.  

2.  Model that balance.  Don't give your teens these rules and then not follow them yourself.  Put down your phones and talk with your kids and get out and do something fun to make memories.  

3.  Teach your kids to be good digital citizens.  That means that they should be the same person online that they are in real life.  Be considerate of others.  Be safe.  Be kind (including to yourself), and use the internet in productive ways (school work, support a cause, etc.).   If they wouldn't say something to a person's face, they should not post it online.  

4.  Let's talk about pictures.  If it is a picture of themselves, they shouldn't post it if they wouldn't want their family (parents, grandparents, siblings, etc.), future family (future in-laws, spouse, children), community (teachers, pastors, etc.), and employers to see it.  That means no pictures in their underwear or at at angle that highlights cleavage (for example), or is seductive or doing activities illegal for kids (drinking, smoking, etc.).  They are still children, even if they look like adults.  Also, talk with them about using appropriate language (no cursing).  Talk about their digital footprint and how what they post online is there forever and you never know when it might pop back up.  Social media posts have cost other teenagers their college scholarships, jobs, etc. years after they posted it.   If it is a picture of someone else, they shouldn't post it without that person's permission. And, never post a picture that makes fun of someone else, whether it's a person they know or not.  Here's a good video called Face to Face:  https://whatsyourstory.trendmicro.com/blog/entry/1-6d0f8/

5. I'm going to emphasize again that you should be modeling this behavior online.  So, don't talk negatively about yourself or others.  Your children should be friends with/following, etc. you online as their role model and if you are posting pictures making fun of others (even if it's not someone you know) then you are showing them that behavior is appropriate.  

6.  Monitor your child's online behavior.  You should be on the same social media platforms they are on and you should be in their friend's list/followers.  You should see what they post.  When they mess up and post something they shouldn't, have a teachable moment (not a "you're in trouble" moment) so that they understand and learn rather than feel they need to sneak and post what you can't see.  

7.  Use parental controls.  You can set limits on the minutes your child can use, specific who he or she can talk with/text.  You can even put software on your child's phone to monitor how it is used.  Try a Privacy and Balance Pledge/Contract (you can download online).  For tweens and young teens (under 16), you should have the passwords to their accounts.   You should approve anyone they are friends with online.  This means you can review to see if predators contact your children and you can also block other kids that are not a good influence.  

8.  Talk with your kids about what to do if someone contacts them that they don't know or if they say something that makes them feel uncomfortable.  They should have their profiles set to private (not public) and they should only be friends with people that they know in real-life.  They should turn off their "geotagging" so that their location is not tagged.  They should not share personal information like where they go to school or where they hang out with friends or tag their home in posts online.  

9.  Talk with your kids about secure passwords, hackers, and spam.  Don't tap on things that are unfamiliar or popups.  Don't install apps or programs without your permission.  Don't share "juicy" headlines that are often clickbait.  Don't follow unusual or fake-looking URLs and follow copyright laws.  

Here are some websites that are good sources for internet safety: 

www.connectsafely.org

www.commonsensemedia.org

www.namle.net