Counselor Johnson

Like many of you, I am having to choose to take time away from social media because scrolling through the images and people's comments about them can be exhausting, heart breaking, and consuming.  As we get more emotional and angry, it becomes all we can think about and talk about.  These are, however, important issues to be talking about and thinking about.  They are also important to talk to your children about.  Especially our white children.  Black families have been talking to their children since a very young age about what they should do/not do in order to be safe.  They have been having conversations with their children.  But, it's time for us white folk to step up and talk to our kids, too.  The children are our future.  If we can raise a better generation, maybe things will be different.  Maybe a change can be made. So, how do you talk to your kids about racism and violence?  Our instincts say to shelter them from all of...

“Melissa, stop. You’re making people mad. You’re going to lose friends over this. Just keep your thoughts to yourself.” Ask any black person you know how many times they have kept their head down and their mouth shut so that they don’t make people mad. Especially people in authority. They’ll tell you about those times and they’ll tell you about the time(s) that they couldn’t keep quiet, too. This is a time I couldn’t just be quiet.  My calling, my purpose in life is to educate others and if you don’t know that about me, well, you just don’t know me. I don't just educate children at work, but I educate children at my church. I educate parents. I educate other educators. I educate friends and family. I also spend a great deal of time educating myself and learning from others. I don’t delete or block people that disagree with me or challenge me, because my heart wants people to learn and see things differently when they read the words I write or the things I say. I don’t hate those...

From Friday, May 30, 2020 The Psychology Behind Rioting From Your Friendly School Counselor Last night, I sat here talking to my husband about trauma and racism and police brutality and rioting and looting and I cried. I went to bed with a heavy heart and tossed and turned and couldn’t rest. I finally got up and went to sleep in the other room because I was so restless and I knew he had to be up at 5:30 this morning for work. This morning, I woke up with tightness in my chest as I immediately felt hurt for the people of this world. I looked at these pictures of what was my home city (Louisville) for more than a decade and I sobbed. The link to these pictures is in the comments.  I want to say upfront that I am not condoning, justifying, or encouraging rioting, looting, or violence. However, I do want to encourage my white friends to be empathetic. To try to understand it. To try to imagine what it might take to push you that far.  I teach my students several lesson...

From Thursday, May 28th, 2020 “Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight. Jesus love the little children of the world.” I grew up singing this song in my all white hometown surrounded by great examples of Christian living. Love others, help those who are less fortunate, and work hard were all values instilled in me through the many adults in that hometown (family, teachers, church members). I went to a high school where there were no people of color. I went to church with only white people. We didn’t travel much as kids and there was no internet or social media back in the 80’s and 90’s. My only exposure to black people was on tv (Bill Cosby, Fresh Prince, Family Matters). In my history classes, I learned that the slaves were freed after the civil war and I learned a little about Martin Luther King, Jr. and that black people had the same rights as we do. They could vote, own property, work for a li...

Isolation, Uncertainty, Boredom, Grief, Anxiety, Stress, Fear...... TRAUMA This week, we learned that our students will not return to our school building this year.  Instead, we will finish the year through virtual learning.  They didn't get to say goodbye to their friends or teachers.  We didn't get to have our end of the year awards ceremony, kindergarten or 5th grade graduation, field day, and so many other annual traditions.  It's heartbreaking for our school family (kids, parents, teachers) and we are all grieving and grief is a process (more on that in another entry).  Right now, everyone is very focused on the present (and we need to be), but as a school counselor and the only full-time staff member at my school that works with students' mental health, I have to be planning for the day we return and the impact of current events on the mental health of my students. In the fall (or whenever we return), I will have 400+ young people returning to the h...

Parents, your mental health, sanity, safety, and family time are more important than your child's NTI/distance learning/virtual learning (whatever it's called in your state). Do what you can. Have your kids do what they can. But, if it's causing you stress, your child's anxiety, etc. it shouldn't. It's okay if you don't get to it.  Educators, if you think you are going to replace the learning kids would do in a physical school building with all of the staff we have in sch ool and all of the resources we provide kids to be successful, then you are greatly undervaluing what we do each day. You can't expect kids to perform at the same level working from home in high stress with siblings, sharing devices, parents working from home, people getting sick and dying, not being allowed to do the things they love, etc. Adjust your expectations.  Don't be the teacher (principal, counselor, school district, etc.) that your students and their families remem...

"Trauma Informed" has ben the topic of focus this year.  A majority of the professional development in our district has been centered around being more trauma informed.  Trauma used to be the counselor's area, only.  It was part of my training for my Master's Degree and when there's trauma, usually teachers and administrators turn to me for guidance.  But, now, we are training all educators to be more informed about trauma and I believe that helps us to serve our students better.  Not only the students that are processing major trauma, but all students.  It has started to inform everything we do from assessments, school programs, behavior interventions, etc. as we begin to look at everything through a trauma lens instead of labeling students as students with "trauma".  Especially, since we can't always see trauma and we don't always know which students are dealing with trauma.   Our state has passed legislation requiring trauma informed training,...

"Nobody gets me because nobody else in this school has autism!"  one of my sweet students yelled in my counseling office one day.  I froze for a moment and sat down on the futon in my office.  "You are not the only student in this school with autism."  "Who?!  Who?!  Just tell me who!" he continued, still agitated.  In that moment, I knew two things.  I needed to find a way for my kids on the spectrum to not feel so alone.  I needed to find ways for them to connect to other students with the same challenges.  I also needed to do more to educate all students about different disabilities in my school. They don't understand people that are different from them.  They don't understand a kid with ADHD, if they don't have it.  They don't understand a kid with an emotional behavior disorder, if that's not something they have experienced.  The hard part is that students and their families are protected by confidentiality under FERP...

As an educator of 20 years, let me just say that it is all going to be okay if we miss some school this year! Teachers, nobody expects you to be able to provide the same level of education that you would in your classroom online. I am amazed how creative you are and how you are maintaining a connection with your students. That connection is far more important than the "content" you may feel you need to teach. Parents, nobody expects you to know how to homeschool your chil d or teach common core math!   🙂  You don't have to keep a strict schedule that mimics that of a traditional school day. Don’t spend this time fighting with your kids about school work.  It's okay that we are not going to cover all of the standards that we had planned in our pacing guides. It's not going to put your children behind or make them less competitive for college or jobs because we don't cover certain standards or we don't have state testing this year. Everybody else is goi...

Talking about scary things with your kids can be scary for parents, too!  Here's a little advice on talking about scary things like the coronavirus:  1.  Keep your kids away from the media as much as possible.  Don't spend hours watching the news, reading things on social media to them, etc.  This will add to their fear and anxiety. It is your job to get the information and then share it with your children in a way that is developmentally appropriate.   2.  Remain as calm as possible in front of your children, even if you are freaking out inside.  Many times, a child's anxiety is a reflection of our own.   3.  Remind your kids of all the things we are doing to keep safe like washing our hands,  social distancing, cancelling events, and staying home from school. Reassure them that you are doing what is necessary to keep them safe and healthy.   4.  Let them ask questions and answer as best you can....

“You’re changing schools!” can get a mix of reactions from students.  Some may be happy or excited for a change.  Others may feel the change is unfair, get angry, or feel sad because they will miss their friends and the place they feel comfortable.  They may be worried about making friends or that they may get lost at their new school.  They may tell you every single day why they don’t want to change schools and beg you to change your mind (or change the school district’s mind) or they may not say anything at all.  Sometimes, it is their behavior that will tell you that they are struggling with this change.  Whatever your child is feeling about the change is okay and they need to know that their feelings are validated.  Listen. But, they also need to know that change is part of life.  We cannot avoid it and it is through change that we grow the most.    This is a change we can’t control. ...

I am so excited to be starting a new therapy dog program at my current school. Believe me the students are excited, too!  The parents and teachers are, too.  Therapy dogs in schools can help reduce stress and anxiety among students, improve attendance, help teach social skills, increase confidence in reading, and encourage students to talk about their emotions.  This year, I have volunteers from a therapy dog organization that are visiting our school as we learn the best practices for having a therapy dog in our school.  They've been working with our RTI Reading Intervention Groups.  They've met with students with attendance problems.  They've visited classrooms and worked with me with groups in my office.  I'm excited to have a dog as my counseling partner next year.  Read more about our Therapy Dog Program on my website.    Here's a picture of our dog that is in training right now! What should we name him?

Today, my high school best friend is on my mind and I wanted to share this post that I shared on facebook from when he committed suicide just over two months ago.   I’m going to talk about something that may make a lot of you uncomfortable. Feel free to stop reading, if this is not something you are ready to hear a different opinion on. But, if we keep “not talking about” it is going to keep happening more and more and more. And, I am slowly realizing that talking about is something we need to do more often. I’m talking about suicide and the numbers are on the rise. I’ve looked at the statistics, but I also know it from personal experience. Chances are you know someone that has committed suicide or attempted it, but I guarantee there are people in your life (maybe even you) that have seriously considered it. I am far from an expert on the matter, but I do have lots of experience both personally and professionally in this area. Sadly, “suicide” is a word that comes out of my mout...

Imagine that you just graduated from college, you have student loan debt, but you are just offered your "dream job". When you sign your contract, you are informed (not your choice) that they will be taking 13-14% of every paycheck and putting it away in a retirement fund for you. On top of that, they'll even match your contributions and when you retire after 27 years, they will pay you a full salary! Yay! But, in exchange for this retirement system, you will not be able to draw social security and if your spouse dies, you can't get their social security benefits either. You're already getting paid less than other positions with your level of education, but this is your "dream job"! It's not all about the money.  You love your job, but it costs you a lot of money to do it. You buy a lot of supplies and tools that you need to do your job. Plus, you end up buying clothes, shoes, and food for your clients, because they don't have things you need. ...